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July 7, 2005
Choosing a Game
So I have a friend starting a game.
It's a game I've very much wanted to play for a long time, so I am happy.
He has only two confirmed players.
We talk about the game - his inspiration - how he's starting it off - what his assumption are - etc.
But we never got together as a group. So I sent an invite out to several people - including the girlfriend of the one other confirmed player. She responded she'd be there.
Then, the day before, she contacted me to day she'd read up on the game and it really wasn't her cup of tea, thanks for the invite, don't be mad.
Don't be mad? Why would I be mad?
And it got me to thinking.
Not every game is for every gamer.
Some people are very much hack 'n slash. They want to crawl around dungeons, kick open doors, slay inhuman monsters, and bring back the loot.
Some people are very into the socio-political ramification and would be just as happy if dice were never rolled.
Me - I want to participate in a good story. I want to be one of those cool characters from my favorite book or movie (Well, not those characters specifically) and to participate in the telling of that story. And I want to chit-chat with my friends and drink beer and eat pizza on a Saturday afternoon.
But regardless of what we want in a game - our end goal is to have fun.
Somehow, the Gaming Community has developed into a group of people that feel like they must jump at every gaming opportunity, and end up getting themselves into situations they're not happy in. But they will not extricate themselves from it.
Or worse, they're making everyone else unhappy, and no one says anything.
Why is this? If we were playing football, and someone wasn't very good, we wouldn't hesitate to stick 'em on the bench. If the Clan is having it's weekly Kill Things™ session of Quake: Arena™ and one of the clan mates was causing problems, we'd quickly boot 'em off the game.
But when one person is making a table-top game miserable, everyone lets it continue. They probably complain to each other out of ear-shot of the offending party, but never bring it up before him/her. Why is that? Are we such a socially mal-adjusted group that we're willing to blindly accept anyone who shares the hobby?
Why not avoid the situation entirely in the first place?
Something that has not happened to me nearly enough in my 20 years (This summer - holy moly I'm a Roleplaying antique!) is the pre-game briefing. This is where the GM and all the potential players sit down before characters are made and discuss the game amongst themselves. It is incumbent upon the GM to lay out his ideas: this is my group concept, this is mood I'm trying to set, this is the narrative style I want to use, etc. It is the player's responsibility to say if they want to throw around lots of dice, or spend most of their time in character interaction - what do they consider fun? It is the GMs responsibility to account for the varied tastes of his players. Every Story (if not every game session) should have a time and a place for each character to shine. For each character to be the One - they guy who saves them all, or who figures out the mystery, or who captures the bad guy - whatever. Each player gets their moment in the sun.
It should be fairly obvious from this pre-game meeting if there's going to be anyone in the group who's not going to mesh well. Now is the time to act.
Which does not mean 'be rude' about it. The GM should explain - hey, maybe this game isn't for you. You're looking for X type of experience, and the other 6 people are looking for Y type of experience. I can occasionally throw Y into the game for you, but I'm afraid you'll be bored when I'm not doing that.
Or, alternately, if you just don't think you're going to mesh well, you can bow out on your own. Thanks for the invite, I think I'm looking for something a little more X, or a little less Z.
There should be no stigma attached to either of these actions - yet strangely there is. And I cannot help but wonder why. Are we afraid of being labelled? Power-Gamer? Twink? Elitist Snob? Are we do desparate for social interaction that we'll take bad over nothing? Is the real world so boring/hateful/mundane/whatever that we'll take any escapist experience we can get? Are there so few of us that we can't find anything better/different? Are we afraid that if we say no to this one experience, that we'll never be invited to play with any of these people again?
I do not know.
For my part, if I'm not having fun, or looking forward to it, then I'll become one of those problem gamer: always late, or leaving early, or distracting other people when it's not my turn, etc. And I do not want to be 'that guy.' Better to save myself, and everyone else, the frustration.
Just say 'No thanks.'
Posted by Shannon on July 7, 2005 8:37 PM
Comments
A great site that I haven't visited often (or recently) enough: Advice for Good Role-Players.
Somewhere, there's also an analysis of the 5 Geek Social Fallacies that covers the very feeling you express here very well. I first received it in an e-mail, and was only just reminded of its existence while reading what you had to say above.
Anyway, I'm glad that she was able to say that this didn't look like her can o'beans. I hope that anyone else involved that thinks similarly will be able to admit likewise. And, furthermore, I look forward to having fun with this game.
-J
Posted by: J-Dubs at July 7, 2005 10:58 PM
Right on. That is why I am going to be a part time player for Glenn's game. The easiest explaination is I will be whatever PC he needs and does not have time to run as well as run the game. Should be easy since I live here and he can give me time to prep before each game session in which I will be needed. It also means on the weeks I do not wanna play, I do not have to (like Friday the 15th, I will be sitting in line at Barnes and Nobel to get my Harry Potter book like the happy little crack addict I am).
Well said, well explained and good freaking point.
B
Posted by: Brittney at July 8, 2005 7:50 AM
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