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February 13, 2005

Scoobies Quote Book

Another Long-Running campaign named for the similarities between the characters, and a long-loved bunch of mystery sleuths with a van and a famous dog. It started off as a 'Werewolf: the Apocalypse' campaign, but has grown to include four mages, one Kitsune, a vampire, and only one measly werewolf.

Some of our funnier moments are recorded below for a bit of posterity. Many of them are presented out of context below, which makes them less amusing to people not there at the time, but they provide some nice memories for those of us involved in the game.

A score-card listing the players and their characters appears after the quotes themselves.

-----
Tom: "Can I see the [30 foot tall] spider?"
Everyone Else: "Are you blind?"
Leonard: "Technically, yes." As his character has just created a supernatural effect destroying visibility

DM: I forgot the most important thing - the spider gets to go! It's just been sitting there looking menacing going 'Rawr, Rawr'

Doc: "And where in all the universes is there a place with no wolves?"
Tahir: "Malfeas?"
Ed: "Anywhere where there are really stinky feet!"

Nira: (muttering) "No contract is worth this?"

Tahir: "Can you dodge a hundred bullets?"
Ed: "Dunno. Haven't tried yet."
(Later, as the group debates whether to make an illegal border crossing into Nigeria)
Nira: "We may want to just cross at the checkpoint. Border Guards get testy and are known to shoot first and ask questions later."
Ed: "We already established that one of us can dodge a hundred bullets!"
Nira: "Yes, one of us can. What are you going to do?"

Ed: "Everyone can shift! A man that turn into a were-alligator, a house that turn into a were-house. What do the French turn into?"
Tahir: (maliciously) "Snails."
Ed: "Were-snails? Really? Cool!"
Doc and Leona: "Great. Give him another complex."

Doc: "Why are there fish in the well?"
Tia: " Makes no sense. Fish would foul the water."
Ed: (sotto voce) "Fish are birds?"
Leona: (sotto voce) "No, no, no. Foul as in, make bad. Fish poop in the water."
Ed: (sotto voce) "But that's yucky."

Doc: "Maybe the mokole like the fish..."
Ed: "...poop."

DM: "The ground begins to crunch beneath you..."
Deb: (who's missed a bit while tending a fussy baby) "We're walking on bones and skulls?"
Shannon:"No, that's Return of the King crunchy. We're talking Indiana Jones crunchy."
DM: (sighing) "Your feet start making crunching sounds like those in Indiana Jones."

Ed: "Sorry Bug... sorry bug... sorry bug", to every bug he kills after Leona explains to him that Bugs work for Mother Gaia.

Everyone: "We're on Vacation!"

Clara: "So, how do you determine between good spiders and bad spiders?"
Tia: "Bad Spiders just try to kill us. Good Spiders ask questions first, and then try and kill us"
Clara: "My, what friends you have"

Lys: But it was a Stealthy sort of yip!

Nira: (About Tahir, who has just botched a stealth check) "He is NOT in my contract"

Tahir: "Where's Allison?"
Doc: "With Ed. Wait. Where's Ed?"
Tahir: "With Leona. Outside."
Together: "This is just NOT good."
DM: "And there was a disturbance in the force?"

Ed: "I can't take scars from a cat! I'll never be able to back to the junkyard!
Leona: "What scars?"
Tia: "Yeah, if Leona hadn't intervened, you'd might have been KILLED by that cat."
Ed: "Well, then I really wouldn't be able to go back to the junkyard!

Doc: "Why are you smiling? This isn't really a smiling matter." (points to dead comrade, ritualistically killed)
Tahir: (smiling) "Think about it." (ticks things off fingers, matter-of-factly) "One - An Eater-of-the-Dead came personally to kill one of our number. Two - They took extreme effort to make it believable. Three - They left the entire current saga of the Unborn Pheonix on the walls, for intimidation. We finally matter to the Pharoah! We're a threat!"
Doc: (deadpan) "Yay, us."

GM: "Here you go-the entire saga of the Unborn Pheonix, and the poem that I ganked it from." (hands David two pages)
David: "Ah. This is bathroom material. I'll be right back."

Leona: "Why did they kick you out?"
Art: hems and haws, dodges the question.
Nira: (exasperated) "But Why did they kick you out? Do you ever answer a question directly?"
Everyone Else: "No!"

Kabir: "We can wipe out the mages? Great!
Leona: "It might be more difficult than you think?"
Kabir: "Nonsense. With the three of us, here, in this place, it'll be easy."
Leona: " Weeellll, see, I have this aversion to pain?"

Leona: "Ed! Fight!"
Ed: "Good!" (pauses) "What for?"
Leona: "Save the cats!"
Ed: "What?! Nooooo!" *grumbling* "I have to save the cats, not chase them. Art's not dead. Cute, little girls are wyrmy, and there's butter candy growing out of bushes! I hate this place!!
Leona: (sweetly) "Ed, if you don't save the cats, I'll tell Mark that a cat kicked your butt."
-----

• James: is our GM. He is a Social Studies teacher when not tormenting us with gut-wrenching drama.
• David: works on the help desk for providing support to 7-11 convenience stores. Art is a master manipulator and the group's resident Mind master. He has not had the benefit of training with one of the Nine traditions.
• Deb: is a stay-at-home mom. Tia is an acrobatic, flame-hurling sword of God who has mastered the secrets of Prime and is devoted to hunting down and killing demons and monsters. Her sisters in the Celestial Chorus support her whole-heartedly.
• Jenn: Special-Project go-to person for a major player in the travel industry. The Bone-Gnawer Ed is the group's muscle.
• Leonard: Works with David in the technical group at 7-11 support central (My name for it, not their name for it). Leona is a cunning vixen of a trickster. Literally.
• Lys: is a professionally trained musician who pays her bills as a property tax researcher. Nira: is a professionally trained nocturnal assassin who make her living keeping Doc alive.
• Shannon: is an I.T. Supervisor with a Fortune 500 company. Tahir is an amatuer Egyptologist and professor of Linguistics. His Euthanatos ethics and Mastery of Entropy frequently bring him into metaphysical conflict with Ed and Leona.
• Tom: works on the helpdesk of the same comany as Shannon. Doc lost his license to practice medicine partly due to a small problem with controlled substances, and partly due to his inability to report gun-shot wounds of certain high-paying clientele. A Master of Time, he also seems to be the only who ever drives the Van.

Posted by Shannon on February 13, 2005 10:21 AM

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