Unicornucopia.org

I'm trying to remember that despite the fact that I'm irrationally scared stiff. I go for my first appointment with my new Nutritional Counselor today. It's the first actual step of my quest for health, the first thing to be done on the path toward getting gastric bypass surgery.

I know that this woman is a professional. I know that she specializes in this kind of case. I know that she's highly thought of. I know that she's not going to point and laugh, or call me a fat, lazy slob, or any number of other negative things. I know this in my head...I just wish that I could convince my heart.

I keep alternating between fear and hope.

Add to it the annoyance that I have to drive somewhere I've never been before, which is something that I absolutely hate doing, and I find myself having to fight off the urge to just call and cancel, or to skip and lie about not being able to find the place. Of course, now that I say this, I probably won't be able to find it and will really miss the appointment. *sigh*

I know that I need to do this. I know it's the right course.

Why am I scared to the point of tears?

I can do it. I will do it. I have to do it.

It's just not easy, that's all.